Ranting....

I HATE that nothing goes accordingly in my life. It's seriously the biggest streak of bad luck ever. I HATE that there's no escape..and that it continues to crush my soul. I hate how bitter it has made me, I hate that I've truly become such a cold person. I am just constanly being sucked into a black hole and I'm trapped. I hate how I'm just as helpless as the people around me are....I just have to wonder...when's it my turn? When is it my break? Or maybe it will never happen...and I will be forever trapped and miserable. I find that I really ..and I mean REALLY struggle to see any of the positives in my life. Seriously...are there any? Most of all....I hate that for some reason..I hang on to a tiny shred of hope..and I let it control my thoughts, my mind, and ultimately bring me down....because it's all for nothing. I will never mean as much as I want to mean...the value will never be mutual...and as long as that's in my life..I will never be free. I wish it was something as I could cut the ties..all of them. I can't....I've tried for years....I just let it haunt me and dictate my life. Somebody free me please.....because I don't know how.